How to avoid a crisis

by Nancy Wexler

These questions should give you a pretty good idea if the time has come for an elderly family member (EFM), currently living alone, to find a suitable alternative living arrangement:

Safety needs

1. Has your EFM had accidents because of weakness, dizziness, or the inability to get around?

2. Has use of the stove, oven or appliances become a safety hazard because of forgetfulness?

3. Are there conditions in the EFM's home that are safety hazards, such as steep stairs or a lack of adequate heating?

4. Does your EFM refuse to use a cane, walker, wehelchair, or other assisting apparatus necessary for safety?

5. Has your EFM lost interest in living or expressed a desire to die?

Nutritional needs

1. Is our EFM unable/unwilling to use the kitchen for food preparation?

2. Is there a demonstrated nutritional concern, such as weight loss, illness, anemia?

3. Does your EFM eat only inappropriate foods which do not supply nutritional needs?

4. Does your EFM "forget" to eat?

Personal hygiene

1. Is your EFM unwilling/unable to go to the toilet without assistance?

2. Is your EFM unable to change their own clothing or bedding to remain clean and dry?

Medical needs

1. Does your EFM forget to take necessary medications?

2. Is it likely that your EFM would take the wrong dose of medicine by mistake, or purposely?

3. Is your EFM physically unable to handle medications, spilling them, or unable to administer needed injections?

4. Is your EFM unwilling/unable to obtain help in case of need?

Social needs

1. Is your EFM unable to handle money?

2. Does your EFM get lost in familiar surroundings?

3. Has your EFM left home without a destination?

4. Has your EFM behaved inappropriately in public, such as exposing himself/herself or threatening others?

5. Does your EFM have mental or emotional problems which might be a threat to self or others?

If you honestly answered all these questions "no," then rejoice. However, if you found many answers were "yes," then you must begin to face that fact that a crisis may be fast approaching.

If you're unsure about what to do, contact us

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Copyright Nancy Wexler 1996, 1998.