Issue 10, September 2001

Dogs are Miracles with Paws

Lest these Newsletters become too serious, here is a beautiful reflection on man's (and woman's) best friend. No, it's not a cat, although they have their great independent qualities too.

• A dog's nose in the palm of your hand can cure almost anything.
• Dogs are made of love and fur.
• Let your dog take you for a walk.
• Dogs are a sure thing.
• A little known dog secret: dogs have no secrets.
• Dogs are like vanilla ice cream: reliably delicious.
• Dogs are wise agents, sent directly from heaven.
• If you had a tail, wouldn't you wag it?
• There are no bad dogs.
• Be your dog's best friend.
• Dogs like dancing, drive-in movies and dreaming.
  God made dogs and named them, spelling his own name backwards.
• Dogs make great therapists.
• Kiss your dog all the time.
• Some dogs are nap dogs.
• Dogs invented unconditional love.
• Dogs are party animals.
• Apply dog logic to life: eat well, be loved, get petted, sleep a lot and dream of a leash-free world.

Dedicated to Punky, my first dog.
(c) SARK 1991

NOTE: If there is any way you can give your loved one a pet, do so, but only when they can care for it. If not, donate a dog, cat, bird or fish to a sensitive and aware nursing home, board and care or hospice.

— Nancy Wexler

Issue 9, August 2001

To Those Who Have Assumed The Role Of Care-Giver

Did you know that about three-quarters of all caregivers in the United States go it alone, without assistance from other members of their families?

This is a shocking statistic, since the amount of time, energy and stress involved in attending to an elderly loved one who cannot care for themself is enormous...especially if they have Alzheimer's.

You may already know this. You may be one of the blessed who have assumed the full responsibility for a family member in need, not because you WANT to be the sole caregiver, but because there is no one else to help. Your higher moral values probably do not permit you to ignore a loved one's critical situation, no matter how sad and hopeless it may seem.

If this is true, you need the helpful advice and professional caring assistance of a good Geriatric Care Manager. Otherwise, there is the very realistic possibility that you will "burn out."

It is entirely understandable and human that any person who shoulders full responsibility for another should burn out. Caring for someone who cannot survive without you is both emotionally and physically draining, no matter how much you may love the person.

Your loved one is no longer the person you once knew. And they become even less so as time goes by.

Perhaps you were never that close. Or maybe, you even resented the critical aspects of their personality. They may have been too harsh, too cold and too unjust. Yet for a variety of very complex reasons, you are choosing to help a person who may have been unfair and hurtful to you.

Alzheimer's usually does not make a person more cheerful, fair or loving. It can devastate the good qualities, and amplify the negative ones. It is not unlikely that the person you give so much to, may be impatient, stubborn, blaming or unappreciative, perhaps even rejecting your care. Yet you continue.

Even if the person you care for was loving to you, and REMAINS loving to the best of his or her ability, it is still traumatic to watch them deteriorate, week by week.

So to all of you sole caregivers, and those that are fortunate enough to share the responsibility, I offer my deepest respect, professional advice and moral support.

You are quiet heroes, unknown except to your loved one and closest friends.

— Nancy Wexler

Issue 8, July 2001

Long-Term Care Insurance

You might want to seriously consider purchasing Long-Term Care Insurance, which provides for possible nursing home care, as well as any necessary home health-care services. Other benefits may include: hospice care, alternative care, "medical necessity," mobility assistance, adult day-care, geriatric care managers, inflation protection (important), or even providing money to spend for services you choose.

Check the fine-print in the policy, and COMPARE policies from many different (profit-making) companies. Make sure the insurance company, and the particular plan, are federally and/or state-qualified. It is YOUR future which is at stake. It's much more important than buying a house or car. So make the best deal!

Since 20% of people over age 50 may soon need long-term care, you should face life's reality and make an informed decision as soon as possible. Can you afford NOT to have such insurance?

If you do decide to buy such insurance, California state law (unlike many other states) does much to protect you from misinformation and companies which might disappear with your payments.

You should also check with a good lawyer who is experienced in the special problems of senior citizens... ideally, an Elder Care Lawyer.

There may even be tax benefits. Check with your accountant about the specific policy you want to chose.

Remember, the government may not be there to pay for your long-term care. If you receive assistance from the government, that's great, but please, do NOT count on being rescued by Washington when you most need help.

When politics and economics are involved, humanitarianism may play second-fiddle in any new laws and national policy directed to the elderly.

If you do decide to buy Long-Term Care Insurance, it will be just one more major worry off your mind. Think of it as giving yourself a gift. You deserve one.

— Nancy Wexler